Real Parents Talk Uncategorized

A Letter to a Stressed Out Parent (from someone who’s been there)

In case of emergency, read this letter and open a bottle of wine.

 

First of all,  – we’re sorry your having a bad day. It happens to the best of us. Your current urge to curl into a fetal position and sob hysterically does not mean that you can’t do this.  You can do this. In fact, you’ve been doing “This” for years, meaning: run the house, pay the bills, raise these little humans and attend to a hundred details that nobody ever notices.

You’re tired and worn out. Who wouldn’t be? It’s not just what we do, but this crazy expectation to do it a perfect way. How would Superman feel if he rushed to save people from a burning building, and there’s an entire crowd telling him: “Go left! No, go right! What’s with that cape, it makes you look so fat. Did you wash that costume in hypoallergenic and environmentally-friendly laundry soap? Hey, you’re not carrying that baby properly!  And come back – you’re supposed to help put out that fire and clean up the mess before the guests come next weekend. Sigh. I bet Batman would do a better job.”

Ridiculous, right? But that’s exactly how parents feel when we try to do what we do. Our daily life can feel like one emergency situation after the other, and even if (miraculously!) we are able to get the most important things done, it never feels like it’s enough.

But it is enough. And you are enough. In fact, you are the world to your kids, who think you are awesome just because you’re Mom and Dad. They are happy just having you around.

And remember: you’re not here to make their life or your life perfect. You’re here to show them and teach them unconditional love. And guess what? When you mess up and say sorry, when you say you can’t do it and ask for help, when you show them that even adults are afraid but they do the best they can anyway – that’s when your kids learn how to love. Love is accepting and helping and being brave together.

You’re supposed to mess up sometimes, don’t you see? That’s how Life is wired. It thrusts us into big situations so we can see how much bigger love is.

So have a good cry – and a bottle of wine, and chocolates, and whatever it is to get you through this. This is a bad day, not a bad life.

In fact, it’s a really good life. A perfectly imperfect life.

 

 

 

 

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