Real Parents Talk

5 things I really miss about Life Before Kids

I've gone from wanting to change the world to a chance to pee in peace. #lifegoals

 

A friend asked me, “Do you miss your freedom? Staying out late, shopping, doing anything you want on weekends?”

Good question. No, I don’t miss the late nights – honestly, even if I had the night off I’d rather sleep than go to a noisy bar and pay for overpriced greasy food and lukewarm beer. I still shop, but I’m happy I’ve reached a point in my life when I need less to impress.

Weekends? Ok, got me there. It would be awesome to be able to sleep in again, but it’s great to wake up to the sound of the kids laughing. And I get all gooey inside when I see my husband playing Princess Tea Party with my daughter, or making funny faces just to make the baby laugh.

So, everything I gave up has a pretty good trade-off.

But that being said, there are things I really miss.

I just want to pee alone.

Kids have an uncanny ability to need to use the bathroom when I’m in it. Or they have a genuine fear that I will flush myself down the toilet. “Are you still there, Mommy? Are you almost done? Mommy? Moooooooommy?!”

I remember when going to the mall wasn’t a complicated logistical mission.

Stroller, check. Diapers, check. Extra shirt and small toy I won’t mind losing but still keeps him entertained for us to eat lunch, check. Then before going out the door I ask everyone if they need to go to the bathroom, which doesn’t change the fact that they will still scream “I need to pee!” the minute we park. We also know every restaurant in the mall that has its own toilet. #SurvivalSkills.

Spontaneous, leisurely sex

Not that we want to go all 50 Shades of Grey, but you and I both know that sex will only happen when the kids are not there – and they are very rarely not there.  Instead of whispering naughty suggestions, our conversations are like: “Are they asleep?” “I think so. Oh wait, they’re not. Put on a video… yes, we have 30 minutes!”

Sleep. Please, more sleep. 

If it weren’t for coffee and concealer, I wouldn’t have any more friends left.

Non-mom conversations

Every mom friend feels compelled to ask me, “How are your kids?” Which means I end up asking about hers, and then that’s all we talk about. Why can’t we talk about books? Makeup? Our Spotify playlists? Where to buy jeans that won’t make us look fat? I miss girl talk that’s just about us girls.

What do YOU miss about life before kids?

 

 

 

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